September 8th marked R U OK? Day, an important occasion that reminds each of us to take time out to check in with those around us. Whether it’s a loved one, a colleague, or even a stranger, asking, “Are you OK?” can make a world of difference.
Founded in 2009 by Gavin Larkin in honour of his father’s tragic death by suicide, R U OK? Day encourages us to have meaningful conversations to support mental health and well-being. Gavin’s inspiration came from a single question he wished he’d asked his father, and it’s a reminder for all of us to start that dialogue today.
Why Every Day Matters
While R U OK? Day is a national day of action; it’s not the only day we should be checking in. Starting a conversation can happen any time and with anyone, not just those who appear to be facing challenges. Often, the individuals seemingly holding it together may be struggling the most, hiding their emotions beneath the surface.
A simple check-in can show someone you care and can be the first step towards relieving emotional stress. It doesn’t take rehearsed scripts or planned dialogues to make an impact. Instead, a genuine, kind-hearted connection is all it takes.
How to Ask “Are You OK?”
Starting the conversation doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as easy as:
- Noticing if a friend, family member, or colleague has been acting differently.
- Offering a kind act, like grabbing coffee or suggesting a walk.
- Simply asking, “Are you OK?”
The key is to create a non-judgmental and safe environment. If the person chooses not to open up, respect their boundaries. A helpful response might be, “You don’t have to share anything right now, but know I’m here if you need to talk.”
Remember, everyone handles struggles differently, and circumstances like relationship issues, anxiety, or depression can be deeply personal and complex. Sometimes, just knowing someone is there to listen is enough to make a difference.
Supporting Someone Who Opens Up
When someone shares something vulnerable with you, it’s a privilege to hold their trust. Appropriate responses include:
- Showing Gratitude: Thank them for trusting you and sharing their feelings.
- Encouraging Action: Suggest simple steps to help them feel supported, whether that’s speaking to a professional, taking a break, or engaging in an energising activity. Offer to be alongside them as they take these steps if they wish.
It’s important not to pressure someone into solutions or express frustration if they’ve waited to seek help. What may seem like a small step to you could feel monumental to the person, and your response can influence their future willingness to open up.
Follow-up is equally important. Checking in again down the track shows genuine care and reinforces their trust. A simple follow-up question like, “How have you been since we last spoke?” can bridge the connection and provide further support.
The Power of Kindness
At some point in our lives, we all encounter struggles. Some challenges may be brief, while others are ongoing, but every experience shapes our resilience. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a brave acknowledgment that support is necessary.
By normalising kindness and open conversations, we collectively foster an environment where seeking help is encouraged. When we extend kindness, we inspire positivity, creating ripple effects that benefit entire communities.
How You Can Make a Difference
If you’ve been inspired to ask, “Are you OK?”, here’s how to make a real impact:
- Ask the Question
- Find your own way to check in. Whether it’s over coffee or during a quiet moment, a heartfelt question can open the door to meaningful conversations.
- Listen Without Judgement
- Listening attentively and with an open mind creates a safe space. Removing judgment fosters trust and encourages openness.
- Encourage Positive Steps
- Once they feel comfortable sharing, encourage them to explore actions that relieve their stress or pain. This might include seeking professional counselling or taking small steps to improve their day-to-day life.
- Check Back Later
- Follow-up is crucial. A simple message or phone call reinforces that you care and provides ongoing reassurance.
Together, we can nurture a culture of care. Each conversation and every act of kindness contributes to a greater support network, helping those in need feel less isolated and more connected.
Accessing Resources
If they or you require professional help, there are many resources available that offer compassionate support:
- Beyond Blue (beyondblue.org.au)
- Lifeline Australia (13 11 14)
- HCA Employee Assistance Program (EAP) – Did you know that HCA’s EAP is available not just for staff but for immediate family members too? Confidential sessions, in-person or over the phone, are accessible to help with a wide range of concerns, work-related or personal.
Encourage those you connect with to reach out, seek support, and remember that a brighter tomorrow starts with one small conversation today.
Together, we can make each day count. A simple conversation could save a life.
