Supporting young people, especially those who struggle with emotional regulation, brings both real challenges and real rewards. At Healthcare Australia, our work is grounded in care, compassion, and excellence, and we know that meaningful connection sits at the heart of quality youth work.
One approach that many experienced youth workers find invaluable is the PACE model (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy). Developed by clinical psychologist Dan Hughes, PACE helps create safe, trusting relationships with young people who have experienced trauma or hardship.
What Is PACE?
PACE is more than just a framework. It is a way of thinking, feeling, and interacting that helps young people feel safe, understood, and supported. By bringing playfulness, acceptance, curiosity, and empathy into our everyday interactions, we can build stronger, more meaningful connections that encourage trust and emotional growth.
Playfulness: Keeping Things Light
Laughter and joy play a critical role in building relationships. Approaching situations with a playful attitude, using light-hearted tones, storytelling, or humour, can ease tension and make difficult conversations feel safer. It is not about making light of serious issues, but rather creating an environment where young people feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment.
Example: A young person refuses to participate in an activity. Instead of pushing, a playful approach might be, “Alright, but I bet you can’t beat me at rock-paper-scissors first!” This simple moment of fun can shift the energy and open the door for engagement.
Acceptance: Meeting Them Where They Are
Acceptance means acknowledging a young person’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment. It does not mean condoning harmful behaviours, but rather validating their emotions so they feel heard and understood.
Example: If a young person is angry about a house rule, rather than dismissing their feelings, you could say, “I can see that you’re really frustrated about this rule. It’s okay to feel that way. Let’s talk about why it’s in place and how we can work through it together.”
Curiosity: Understanding the ‘Why’
Instead of reacting with frustration when a young person behaves in a challenging way, approach the situation with curiosity. This means genuinely seeking to understand why they are acting a certain way, without assumption or blame.
Example: If a young person lashes out, instead of saying, “Why would you do that?” in an accusatory tone, a curious response could be, “I wonder what’s making you feel this way right now?” This encourages reflection and fosters open dialogue.
Empathy: Walking Alongside Them
Empathy is about being present and feeling with the young person. It lets them know that they are not alone in their struggles and that their emotions matter.
Example: When a young person is upset, rather than just saying, “You’ll be fine,” try, “I can see that you’re really upset. That must be really hard for you. I’m here to help you through it.”
PACE in Practice
Incorporating PACE into youth work takes practice. It requires slowing down, tuning in, and being mindful of your own emotions. You will not always get it right, and that is okay. What matters is the effort to create a safe, supportive space for young people to grow and heal.
At Healthcare Australia, we encourage our youth workers to embrace the PACE approach. By doing so, we are not just providing care. We are fostering trust, connection, and positive change in the lives of the young people we support.
When PACE Doesn’t Work
It is important to note that when a young person is in fight, flight, or freeze mode, the PACE model will not be effective in that moment. When they are in a heightened state of stress, they are no longer thinking rationally. They are trying to protect themselves.
In these situations, it is crucial to focus on de-escalation techniques to help them feel safe again before attempting to re-engage with PACE. This might include giving them space, using grounding techniques, or simply being a calm and reassuring presence until they are ready to reconnect.
Interested in learning more about PACE? For further information, visit Dr Hughes’ website, the DDP Network.
Keen to make a real difference in the lives of young people? Visit www.healthcareaustralia.com.au to learn more and explore current youth and disability support worker opportunities.
